Where Is He?

As we approach another Valentine’s Day, some people look desperately for a “love” with whom to share this special day. They settle for less than desirable relationships just to have a Valentine. They hope that their current relationship will last just long enough for a box of candy and some roses to be delivered to make them feel extra special. Some men, I have heard, intentionally break it off or ruffle the feathers of their significant other to give them an escape from spending money on that day.

I know it may be glib to say, “It’s just one day out of the year!” However, it is a very true statement, but let’s get real. It feels mighty good for a man to express his love to us as women. Let’s cut through the tough skin that some of us have built up in order to get through loneliness, hurt, and rejection and get to the heart of our humanness. We are relational people. God made us that way. He even said that it was not good for Adam to be alone. Unfortunately, relationships with ungodly and even seemingly godly people have left us tattered and torn and pessimistic about people. What do we do? If we are supposed to be relational and in our deepest longings, hope to be in loving, healthy relationships, why is it so hard to find one? I’m cutting to the chase. I could be generic about it. I could speak about familial relationships. I could write extensively about friendships, coworkers, and the homeless family on the street. However, I want to be real with you. Some women if not most, who are single would love to be in a loving relationship with a good, godly man. Single and satisfied? This is not for you. Single and seeking…read on.

Valentine’s Day makes you feel your singleness like no other day. You want to be out with a special someone. You want flowers on your desk. You want a hand to hold and a cheek to kiss. I understand. You are living a holy life and it seems rather lonely at times. “Lord, I know I’m supposed to be set apart, but it seems like I’ve been set in solitary!” It is a terrible thing to feel suitable to be a wife, but a suitable man isn’t placed in your path (yet). It’s a disheartening thing to pray and fast and see nothing improve in your love life (yet). It is a hard pill to swallow to see others moving forward in their relationships doing it the world’s way while you can’t get your relationship off the ground because you’ve decided to do it God’s way! It’s a mighty blow to your faith, when the guy you thought was the one turned out to be nothing. As I write this, I ask God, “How can I turn this devotional into encouragement? I’m getting a tad depressed myself!” The word of God always has a success story to ignite your faith!

There is a woman in the Bible who felt unworthy of a relationship, but she married a king. She was tattered. She was mocked by her family and friends. She searched and longed for her husband. She had a lot of competition because her king had many in his harem. She had to fight for his attention because he was extremely busy fulfilling his role as king and maintaining his riches. She didn’t have a glamorous job. She lived in seclusion and isolation. Her name wasn’t even used in the poem, just her ethnicity. She was the Shulamite Woman. Her husband-to-be was wise King Solomon. He was smitten by her beauty. He treated her like a queen. He gave her tangible gifts, and even more priceless, he gave her the gift of acceptance. He freely complimented and acknowledged her qualities both physical and spiritual. She knew undoubtedly she was wanted. He looked beyond her self-appointed flaws of sun weathered skin, and said that her beauty was too much for him!

This should encourage you today! There is someone out there for you. He will make you feel wanted, even though you shouldn’t need that affirmation because God wants you. The relationship will remind you of how God loves you. God shows you exactly how a man should treat you by accepting you just as you are. Through your relationship with God through Jesus Christ, you get better everyday and that is what our “love” relationships should be.

If you have a date, enjoy it, but take copious mental notes about whether he treats you like Solomon treated the Shulamite Woman who was soon to be his WIFE. He looked upon her in many endearing ways: lover, friend, wife, lady, dove, companion, and darling. Solomon wanted a future with her, not just a sexual relationship. Even though the book is rather sexual, remember sex consummated a marriage, not a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship.

If you don’t have a date, curl up with your Bible that evening and read Song of Songs. Embrace the words of a man who truly loves his WIFE-TO-BE, and know that if you hold out and hold on to God’s unchanging hand, you will hear those loving words directed to you!