Where Is He?

As we approach another Valentine’s Day, some people look desperately for a “love” with whom to share this special day. They settle for less than desirable relationships just to have a Valentine. They hope that their current relationship will last just long enough for a box of candy and some roses to be delivered to make them feel extra special. Some men, I have heard, intentionally break it off or ruffle the feathers of their significant other to give them an escape from spending money on that day.

I know it may be glib to say, “It’s just one day out of the year!” However, it is a very true statement, but let’s get real. It feels mighty good for a man to express his love to us as women. Let’s cut through the tough skin that some of us have built up in order to get through loneliness, hurt, and rejection and get to the heart of our humanness. We are relational people. God made us that way. He even said that it was not good for Adam to be alone. Unfortunately, relationships with ungodly and even seemingly godly people have left us tattered and torn and pessimistic about people. What do we do? If we are supposed to be relational and in our deepest longings, hope to be in loving, healthy relationships, why is it so hard to find one? I’m cutting to the chase. I could be generic about it. I could speak about familial relationships. I could write extensively about friendships, coworkers, and the homeless family on the street. However, I want to be real with you. Some women if not most, who are single would love to be in a loving relationship with a good, godly man. Single and satisfied? This is not for you. Single and seeking…read on.

Valentine’s Day makes you feel your singleness like no other day. You want to be out with a special someone. You want flowers on your desk. You want a hand to hold and a cheek to kiss. I understand. You are living a holy life and it seems rather lonely at times. “Lord, I know I’m supposed to be set apart, but it seems like I’ve been set in solitary!” It is a terrible thing to feel suitable to be a wife, but a suitable man isn’t placed in your path (yet). It’s a disheartening thing to pray and fast and see nothing improve in your love life (yet). It is a hard pill to swallow to see others moving forward in their relationships doing it the world’s way while you can’t get your relationship off the ground because you’ve decided to do it God’s way! It’s a mighty blow to your faith, when the guy you thought was the one turned out to be nothing. As I write this, I ask God, “How can I turn this devotional into encouragement? I’m getting a tad depressed myself!” The word of God always has a success story to ignite your faith!

There is a woman in the Bible who felt unworthy of a relationship, but she married a king. She was tattered. She was mocked by her family and friends. She searched and longed for her husband. She had a lot of competition because her king had many in his harem. She had to fight for his attention because he was extremely busy fulfilling his role as king and maintaining his riches. She didn’t have a glamorous job. She lived in seclusion and isolation. Her name wasn’t even used in the poem, just her ethnicity. She was the Shulamite Woman. Her husband-to-be was wise King Solomon. He was smitten by her beauty. He treated her like a queen. He gave her tangible gifts, and even more priceless, he gave her the gift of acceptance. He freely complimented and acknowledged her qualities both physical and spiritual. She knew undoubtedly she was wanted. He looked beyond her self-appointed flaws of sun weathered skin, and said that her beauty was too much for him!

This should encourage you today! There is someone out there for you. He will make you feel wanted, even though you shouldn’t need that affirmation because God wants you. The relationship will remind you of how God loves you. God shows you exactly how a man should treat you by accepting you just as you are. Through your relationship with God through Jesus Christ, you get better everyday and that is what our “love” relationships should be.

If you have a date, enjoy it, but take copious mental notes about whether he treats you like Solomon treated the Shulamite Woman who was soon to be his WIFE. He looked upon her in many endearing ways: lover, friend, wife, lady, dove, companion, and darling. Solomon wanted a future with her, not just a sexual relationship. Even though the book is rather sexual, remember sex consummated a marriage, not a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship.

If you don’t have a date, curl up with your Bible that evening and read Song of Songs. Embrace the words of a man who truly loves his WIFE-TO-BE, and know that if you hold out and hold on to God’s unchanging hand, you will hear those loving words directed to you!

Don't You Judge Me!

Don’t You Judge Me!

In a conversation I was having with a friend who hungers for the word, yet “isn’t ready” to commit fully, he accused me of judging his other friends who are living in sin. In context he was explaining how they encouraged him to do some sinful things just the night before. I just made him aware that because they are living in sin, they condone sin. I used to do the same thing, when I wasn’t where I was supposed to be in Christ. I would tell of my exploits and highlight this behavior as fun or “the time of my life.” We’ve all been or are still in a place where sinful behavior could be looked upon as “good times.” Little do we know, that we are promoting wrong behavior.

So, he said I was judging his friends. I immediately retorted, “No, judging would have been to say, ‘They’re going straight to hell for their perverse crass behavior.’ God loves them and would pleased for them to repent and turn to Him!” Then I said something that drove it home to him and I hope it drives it home to you as well. “Would you consider it judgment if I told you not to go down a ONE WAY street the wrong way? Would you say, ‘DON’T YOU JUDGE ME!’ in response?” There was silence and then it was made clear that judgment is when you attempt to determine someone’s destiny by their right now, but love is when you let someone know that their right now may hinder them from their destiny. If you drive down this one way street, there are consequences that may occur, but you have the God-given choice to turn around.

Share that with someone who needs to hear that today (including yourself). I love the Lord and all that He is in my life. He has turned me from my mess. Had not someone told me that I was in mess, I would have not been in position to be blessed. The word of God shows you, your church, good friends, and most importantly the Holy Spirit will illuminate your sin and you can choose to repent and change or stick with it to an uncertain end. YOU BE THE JUDGE!

Devotional Reading: Luke 6:37, 17:1-4

It's Not Fair

You’re Right, It’s Not Fair!

Are you sick of being mistreated? Do you wonder why you have to deal with mess all of the time? Do you find yourself complaining about your circumstances? Do you feel like life isn’t fair? You deserve better, don’t you think?

Here is something that I hope will make you alter your perspective. If life were fair, you would have to experience what Jesus experienced for us.

¨ Spit in your face
¨ Slapped
¨ Whipped
¨ Beaten
¨ Nailed
¨ Taunted
¨ Jeered
¨ Pierced
¨ And the list goes on…

The next time someone says something about you or does something to you, remember all that Jesus endured and how He responded: He didn’t. The next time you feel like giving up because of your circumstances, remember that Jesus didn’t give up when He faced the crossed. The next time you feel lonely, abandoned, or rejected, remember that Jesus died so you could have the Holy Spirit with you always to comfort and to guide. Each time we murmur and complain about our provision, our circumstances, and “unfair” treatment, we, in a sense, make a mockery of all that Jesus endured.

I’m guilty of complaining about what I don’t have or how I’ve been treated, but the momentary light affliction comes nowhere close to the pain, suffering, mistreatment, and ridicule Jesus experienced for ME. It’s not fair that the tormenting that I deserve because of my sins, will never be applied to me because Jesus paid the price in full.

You’re right! It is certainly not fair. It is the true, unfailing, everlasting love of our Father. Let gratefulness eclipses discontentment. Find peace in His love, today.

Devotional Readings: Matthew 26:67, 27:28-31, 41-44
2 Corinthians 4:17

I Give Up

What will you give up TODAY for a closer relationship with Jesus? Think back on some things you have given up or currently giving up for a relationship with a man. I thought back on past unsuccessful relationships and if I had been guilty of this. Of course I was guilty. I have given up friends, certain types of clothes, and even my dignity. Dignity loss is disparaging and that can’t be love. You don’t realize that you’ve lost your dignity until it is gone. I recall one instance when I called around to find out where my boyfriend at-the-time was and got the true story. When he retuned home and called me, I asked him where he had been; he gave me a bogus story. Can you believe I “let” him lie to me to keep the peace (and in turn keep him)? Until a few hours later he called me back fussing about me calling around looking for him. He was angry with ME!

First of all, perfect love cast out all fear so I shouldn’t have called around, but I wasn’t in right relationship with the Lord or in the Word so I didn’t know that truth. (I John 4:18) Secondly, I should not have let him lie to me, but I did not want him to leave me. The enemy had compromised my confidence with fear. I should have confronted the deception. Lastly, but most importantly, I should have cared more about myself than to be in that unhealthy relationship! God loves me and I should have loved myself enough to realize I was living below my privilege. I’m a daughter of the King!

Now that my relationship with Christ is my priority, I have given up all of my past baggage and in return I have fullness of joy. In the past, I gave up things and in return I felt less than a woman. Oh, what a wonderful testimony it is to “give up” things and gain heaven on earth and unshakable certainty that you have the victory in the name of Jesus. What will you give up to get to your destiny?
Devotional Reading: I John 4:7-21